simplicity parenting review

Admittedly, this blog post is not about coffee. We like to share other parts of our life and business with you as well. And it’s all in hopes that we can connect with a greater community of people who not only love coffee but can also connect with our life experiences that we share.

You see, we’re in the thick of it over here folks. G is about to turn three and little R girl is six. We are also in that stage where we are trying to decide if our family is complete. And that is stressful as well. Some days I take a step back from it all and I’m amazed at how people make it through life. Balancing relationships, being married, having a career, aspirations of your own, raising children, its all just a lot. And its on those days that I play a trick on my mind to help me when I feel overstimulated and overwhelmed. Want to know my trick? I make a little list of my day and I mentally cross out anything that is not absolutely essential to that day. I simplify. I lower my standards and expectations. I try to “turn off” the noise that is in the background of my brain and the noise levels in my house. I think that is why I so thoroughly enjoyed reading Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids. If you’ve been following our journey you know how much we love and crave simplicity. And not just the kind of simplicity where everything is easy. Nope, simplifying doesn’t always guarantee that. What we are after is the heart of the things that truly matter, and finding that requires removing a lot of layers and seeing things through different lenses.

Like anything in life, this book might not resonate with you or your parenting style. I love that about life. We all have our unique places and niches where we thrive. Parenting is no different. Parenting is a beautiful journey and journeys are always filled with light and dark. Kids teach and reveal to us so much of our own humanity (meanwhile we are trying to correct theirs!). So without further ado, I’ll break down a little bit of this book and its ideas in relation to parenting in hopes that you can see if it is something that might be worth reading on your own parenting journey.

Main POints

1. We live in a society that has accelerated the pace of life and thus childhood is at super speed: Slowing down the speed of life within our family unit is a gift we can give to our children by modeling the importance of downtime and by honoring balance within our daily lives.

2. Our culture has preached the message that more is better: The book asks you to imagine all of your children’s toys piled up in one giant pile. Then, let that image sink in. Can the possessions at the bottom of the pile really be valued if they can’t be found? He argues that the amount of stuff and stimulation being brought into the home environment ends up being oppressive. He then talks about how too much stuff ends up leading to too many choices for kids. He talks about the ideas that advertising has taught us that buying products (toys especially) is important and that we need to be unhappy with what we have (so we can buy more).

3. Competitive Parenting is a thing: Our modern day society has started to value children’s “accomplishments” and there has been a rush to “enrich” our children’s lives with keeping them busy all day long and then bragging about it to other parents. The author points out that we would be wise to find and look for our children’s genuine interests and or abilities and then to realize that those interests take time to develop so we need not hurry them or force them.

4. Children are overbooked: We need to realize we live in a culture that values achievement and acquisition. Of course we all universally want what is best for our children, but it is good to realized how much cultures influence has on our daily home life. In an attempt to “give them more” the author talks about how over scheduled kids are today. We want to give them the world and add “enrichment” to their lives so we involve them in a myriad of activities that keeps them from having any free time. The author argues that a “daily torrent of constant doing” actually ends up limiting a child’s ability to direct themselves and that the loss of leisure time for kids prevents creativity and inner reflection. He talks about being aware of the importance of play and rest during childhood and how to honor opening up your child’s schedule to the gift of an open afternoon.

5. Children are exposed to adult topics and advertised to incessantly: Within our modern society, children can be exposed to a lot of things that really should be left in the grown up realm. The author stresses really being careful about what topics you talk about in front of your kids. The daily news and stresses of work etc. really have a place between adults and can contribute to feelings of anxiety within the home. He also mentions being aware of just how much kids are advertised to within the realm of TV and visits to the store.

6. Parents are the architects of family life: I love this quote from the book: “You can see what a family holds dear from the pattern of their everyday lives.” Yeah it took me a second read on that one as well. This book gently reminded me that I have hopes and dreams for my family and it challenged me to look back on the days before I had children and to remember what I had envisioned our family to be like. Of course having children and raising a family doesn’t always fit in with ideals BUT those dreams and the minute details within them can hold grains of truth when you start uncovering what you valued most and what inspired you when you decided to start the journey of making a family.

After reading this book the thoughts that stuck with me the most were: What if I purposely chose to slow things down in my household? What if I decided that what children really needed was much simpler than what I was making it? What if I started saying no to the things in culture that are shouting get more, go faster, accomplish more sooner?

I hope you guys enjoyed this synopsis and if this resonated with you, the full book is an excellent read! Here’s the link to buy it from my Amazon affiliate store!

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