Today our little girl turned five. As I’m writing this, all the kids are in bed and I’m staring at her birthday decorations. They are all unicorns. That was the theme she chose this year and it couldn’t have been more perfect for a little girl turning five.

Ever since becoming a parent, birthdays have brought so many emotions. It’s such a time of reflection and it lends itself to looking back on just how little they used to be and how grown up they now are. That is the hardest part for me as a parent—watching them grow up and knowing that I will never ever be able to go back.

Today, she woke up and we made birthday pancakes with rainbow sprinkles and whip cream (of course!). Then we got dressed and headed to play in the snow. We had a family snowball fight and then came home and let her open her presents. She changed into her pageant like rainbow dress with a unicorn on it and matching unicorn headband. She played all day with her new vet clinic and then we celebrated with pizza and ice cream sundaes. 

Right before dinner, Casey and I snuck away and wrote her birthday card together. We also decided to write her a letter to open when she is older. And, it absolutely wrecked us both emotionally. Most of the night, we were hiding away tears. Tears because I know she will never be four again. And four was such an amazing age. The way they see the world is absolutely lovely. It is inspiring. The tears are also because you see your little one growing up before your eyes. 

In the letter, one thing I felt compelled to tell her is to always remember how she viewed life as a child. Full of wonder and imagination and love. Living her best life in princess dresses and unicorn themed everything. Part of why the letter got to me so much was because I want desperately to give myself that same advice. To know that life has a natural ebb and flow and I don’t have to try so hard to make things happen. I can access that child heart inside and remember what it was like to enjoy life and the magic of being alive. 

Alyssa